Letter from America

It is a great privilege to be travelling in America with my dear British friend Ant. I realize all the more what it means to "friend deliberately and minister accidently" - a sentence God dropped into my heart some 2 years ago. Ant and his lovely wife Helen planted the church we are now based in, some 9 years ago in north London. 

GOSPEL COALITION CONFERENCE

We attended a conference this week in Chicago, hosted by the Gospel Coalition, a loose evangelical grouping committed to seeing truth restored to the church and effort given to preparing a new generation for faithfulness to the gospel, amongst other things. The pastors who preached were superb. Tim Keller on idols and CJ Mahaney on the pastor's charge were my personal highlights. They also spoke with immense love and contrition. They shone with something gloriously dead. Go figure. But, in the words of Bono, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I guess, like for many of us, that is end-time Word and Spirit revival where we are addicted to God and each other. Where striving ceases and real power flows. But all these surely are encouraging signs across the world.

A LIFE WELL LIVED

Speaking of shining in glorious deadness, we have now had the privilege of meeting with Dr RT and Louise Kendall while in the States. A life well lived, a race well run. Not that theirs are over! I see again in full Kingdom technicolor how mercy triumphs over judgment, how 7/8ths of kingdom living and ministry is sheer hard work, as unto Jesus. And just how intoxicating resurrection love is. We cannot become godly without God, yet that God is with us. 

We watched Joyce Meyer's interview with RT, and I was hit again by his discourse on the stark differences between doves and pigeons. The Dove of God can descend AND remain. But He is hyper-sensitive; hyper-holy. That's a real pity, because there is something quite satisfying about seeing the faults in others and merely acknowledging your own! 

AN UNCONSCIOUS GLORY

I could not help but think of the words in Exodus 34, "Moses was not aware that his face shone because he had been talking with God". An unconscious glory. Many I fear are seeking the "glory" consciously. I personally love to experience God, yet I know He does not want me to walking by feelings firstly, or fall into "justification by goosebumps". The doxa of God, where it is displayed in personal or corporate manifestation, was never meant to be the "prize" of Survivor Kingdom, with various personalities and churches vying to outwit, outlast and outplay. I commend myself and my friends to "the pursuit of His glory", but firstly privately, lovingly, sacrificially. 

Here is one of the finest Biblical definitions of true revival, to me.... "So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phillippians 2:1-4 ESV).

A BRAND NEW HERMENEUTIC

I end with one more thought that has been rolling around in my tank for a little while now - I believe this is a time where the Holy Spirit is cutting off every "old covenant root". Chopping it out of the willing; unearthing it out of His churches that genuinely want to see the priesthood arise. A brutal hermenetical change. A radical return to radical grace living.

It is actually difficult to write this. But the old nature is a passionate bedfellow to the law. And the law's tentacles have a habit of trying to stretch around the Cross, if we are willing (I can be unwilling sometimes when legalistic Christianity (oxymoron) is somehow benefitting me through position and profile). The Cross is the Great Slayer, the Great Equalizer! When resurrection power hits us, we are all empowered and authorized (even though its legitimacy is demonstrated through love and happy diversity).  The Cross is powerful to destroy death in us, and remove us from that which stimulates death. The law is good, but bad for me. My eyes need to see Jesus, not the mirror of my own performance. Oh yes!! 

We are sometimes quick to add, "yes, but we also need to be holy" - but, my soul, from whence does holiness spring forth? From what Headstream? Only from Christ! The law has no River; the law does not bring forth a drop of water from the Rock.  The law can change nothing, and only leads me to smoke and mirror religion - an appearance of things without the power thereof. Christ slays me, and raises me up in Him into heaven. From that position, I do not just know what it is to be a new creation, but also what it is to know a new power over sin and into the heart of holiness. 

Michael Eaton said it best, when from years ago he cried out, "walk in the Spirit deliberately, and you will fulfil the law accidently". That cry changed my life as a new believer. "Aim at Jesus, and you become holy. Aim at holiness, and you become wierd" - and eventually exhausted. unchanged, except maybe for the worse.

So let us rise to the empowered charge of Paul, not to "submit to the world's rules", but to "set your mind on things above". 

Chop, Lord, chop!

Love from America

Nick

Inscrutable and Impenetrable Me

There are many masks in the world. Tribal ones, theatre ones, ballroom ones.

And then there are the ones we wear every day. Mind you, not everyone deserves access to the Authentic You. It is one thing tossing pearls to pigs, but it is something more painful besides having those pigs in your bedroom.

My deeper thought today though, is that in covenant, we should be Real People. Preachers and elders need to be authentic and honest. Apostles like Paul said “You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness.”
(1 Thess 2:5).

The word here for “mask” is prophasis, which means “to cause something to shine in front of others”. A false light. A deceptive look. Psychologists tell us that body language is 80% of communication!

To the Corinthians, Paul also writes on the need for absolute authenticity, to move in the ministry of reconciliation…. “We have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.” (2 Cor 4:2-3).

How disastrous for us to “veil” the gospel to those who are living, or who want to find that Life! This is what all forms of deception do, simply because our lives are the message - or not. And we all have heard the story of the man who had mumps but preached on measles – his hearers caught the mumps, did they not?

I have a friend who is a famous Christian author and preacher, and an exceedingly humble man for all his success. He once said this, that he “would rather be embarrassed now than a thousand times over on the day”…

“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” (1 Cor 4:5)

What are some of the masks we can avoid, as we seek to live in the scripture “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18)?

• Happy-Happy Mask. Smiling mouth and smiling eyes. Happy all the time. Come on, no-one can be happy all the time! I know I can get melancholic, so I don’t want to put my “stuff” on you, but hey, “Jesus wept” (the shortest verse in the Bible!) and was a “man of sufferings”. There is a time to mourn. Bad stuff can happen to good people. Paul sometimes “felt the sentence of death”, all of creation still "groans in labor pains" (sustenazo); David had to speak to his soul; Elijah got depressed… There was a cartoon I saw that made me laugh (and churn) - a pastor returns home and his wife welcomes him across the threshold, saying, "it's OK honey, you can stop smiling now - you're home"!

• Happy-Brutal Mask. Smiling mouth but cold eyes. I am happy and I will correct your unhappiness. The man whose empathy cord has been severed. The man who has a quick fix for the unhappy, who is the answers-guy, and who gets annoyed when people persevere in their unhappiness or unhappy ways. The man who whips up the crowd; who takes another’s sadness as a personal challenge. A man who is never weak, never vulnerable, never without an answer, never one to ask questions (that would surrender his power). When we who are elders wear this mask, the people can never truly get close to us, and never will share their deeper lives with us. For us who wear this mask, only Suffering can produce the character needed to rip this mask off. And other genuine friends, who can reach in through the fixed stare and unyielding rightness. 

• Help-Me Mask. The fine-tuned melancholic look.  The man without faith in Jesus. I sit in the church and in my marriage, and have defined all others as my helpers, professionally speaking. My sufferings do not produce perseverance and character, but pleas and the perceived need for other characters. Of course we need each other, but I truly believe that in this time, Jesus is turning our faces towards Himself (and away from self-pity and all the other self- sins!). We get enslaved when we are more dependent on man than on our Messiah. He is within us, man is without. He is ahead of us, man is around us. He is over us, man is our peer. He is Truth, man is a flawed lens. He is grace, man is inconsistency. 

• Holy-Man Mask. The sanctimonious Face, as though every sin is a stench to me. I am a man above temptation, a man without a shameful memory. And therefore a man without a close walk with Jesus. I cannot pretend to be without sin, and without any vulnerability to its power, and be close to Jesus at the same time. We still drag these fallen tents around. We all have shameful memories, even fresh ones. But it is by the Blood, our frowns find forgiveness, and that forgiveness works into forgetfulness. And yet I am fairly certain that God did not intend for us to be happy in receiving mercy for ourselves, and then not be merciful (just ask the servant whose friend owed him 6 month's wages, if and when you see him in heaven). Eugene Pedersen writes so powerfully of the first need in pastoring being empathy. So many of us "ministers" react in disgust at a saint’s sin, instead of confessing that we are sinners too. Of course, we are all becoming more holy by the Spirit’s power and graces, but it is “increasingly and approximately” as far as process goes. And one day we will be like Him, when we see Him face to face! 

There’s many more masks to be sure - whenever something is feigned. Caring masks and “How-Are-You?” masks - when you know you are only ever meeting the uber-cordial, ultra-nice persona. The force-field aura reserved often for pastors and wives. Anointed-Look masks - creating acolytes is search of Deeper Powers.  Remorseful masks (a friend once said that if you want to know if a man is really repenting from something, agree with him that he did need to change! (not that I am recommending a "ministry of removing other people's masks", as the Bible commends us to remove our own first)). 

Finally we could make a good call on the "Poker Mask" - when I look like I am in an unending, 24-7 lifelong poker game. Unreadable, unfathomable. Lose nothing, gain nothing.

Let’s drop the masks, and be the real us. Christ set us free from the shackles of the law, where that Law forces an external code upon an unchanged heart. Christ changes our hearts; Christ sympathizes with our weaknesses; Christ exhorts us to walk in the light. If Christ wants to come in and sup with us in our hearts, would He also not want us to be real and open-hearted towards others as well? One of the non-Christians’ greatest complaints about modern day Christianity is its unauthentic feel. Let’s turn that around, from today!

The New Law of First Response

I have just preached on Christian Joy, a fruit not a product of personality. The “joy of Thy Salvation”, as firstfruits joy that should never leave us - the worst that can now befall is that we die and wake up in paradise. The joy of ongoing friendship with the Spirit - the firstfruit of this love relationship, according to Galatians 5:22. And there is even “the joy set before us”, even as it was set before Jesus – surely the fullness of a full joy, waiting for us in glory.

And all of these are gifts, which we receive by faith! Salvation, the sanctifying work of the Spirit and Heaven itself. We deserve none of them, but in Christ they are ours! A scandal, but a true scandal!

However, I must exercise my faith. And often, faith is opposed in scripture by the word “sight”. We walk by faith not by sight. This implies simply that often the things we see and hear and experience with our natural senses must be overridden, for faith to operate. And that is not always easy. With pressures and financial crises and billboards shouting and friends living for their own pleasures and profit.

 
So I realized afresh this week that I can surrender my joy, this Spirit-fruit.

When do we do it most? Is it when a disaster strikes? Or when a stranger insults us or scares us in the traffic? I think not. I think for all of us humans, it is when those closest to us – friends, family and leaders – disappoint us. When something is said, or not said. When someone refuses to listen, or just cannot comprehend or empathize. When you feel neglected, not regarded, no-good.

So in reality, I surrender my joy when I allow MAN to fill the gap that only God should fill. Momentarily, man can almost appear to be able to be a god to us. But it is a vapor. 

Does this mean we become reclusive, bitter, alienated from family and society? By no means – this is where faith kicks in. But to love the unloveable (starting with myself), I need to know that which is unknowable by knowledge alone. I approach Christ and my Christianity by faith alone. And by faith I love, reach out, forgive, heal, pray for my enemies, and feed them too. By faith I keep giving even though there may be no response. This keeps others free of my manipulations, and also enriches my eternity.

Except by faith alone, how else could we appropriate Jesus' words in Luke 6, “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets”?!

So here, Faith is what safeguards my deeper joy. A joy sourced in a deep subterranean chamber called the Christ-life. Where His salvation, His applause, His rewards are enough.

Without this Aquamarine Pool of Coolness beneath, I dry out, burn up, inflame myself with offences.

A PRAYER:
Father, show me more of Jesus, the hope of glory. I have placed my deeper invisible hopes in false things, temporal things, fading things, self-things. I have placed my hope in MAN, my co-creation, and my hopes have been disappointed. I have trusted in MAN as a firstfruits trust, and I have reaped within myself the fruit of such idolatry. I have listened for MAN’s applause, even lived in the prediction of it – who will think what of me when I say or do or move? – and I have inherited the wind that MAN brings.

You love MAN, but you know what is in the heart of MAN too. I have had to learn the hard way. Now I know a little bit better why you pronounce a Woe upon those who “go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD.”

It was wicked MEN who helped wicked MEN put Jesus to death by nailing Him to the cross. I can only draw from MAN as he is drawing from Jesus. It is Christ in me that is the hope of glory, my hope of glory. “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me”.

So now you are taking my prayers seriously, Father, for the image of Christ to be quickened in me. Not dead or graven images, repetitions and regurgitations, laws and formulae, no. But the living and quick Jesus, active and speaking and breathing and supping within. A real Friend and me in a real friendship. and my source of Joy.

I want to know you more. I want to see your face. I want to feel your touch. But even deeper beneath the experimental world of the Holy Spirit in me, is the Life Force of God, the universal gravitational pull of Divine Love. May my experience of you always be undergirded by my firm and unwavering belief in You. Always. May I not go down to Egypt for help, nor delight in the strength of the horse or the legs of a man. Your delight is in those who fear You, in those who trust in Your unfailing love. Even in the sad times, the desparate times, may I find my joy in You. Show me what David saw, when he exclaimed, "You have given me greater joy than when their grain and new wine abounds".

May weak and pitiful me be found among that number, when the saints go marching in. And well before that too. Even today.

I am Yours, but now You must be mine. I have been an unwitting participant in grace, salvation and the power of God. But now I will to be witting, active, partnering, awake, alive in Christ, not asleep in the light.

Grant me “the fullness of joy” today. That I may know afresh by revelation the joy of Thy salvation, the joy of the Spirit’s friendship, and the completion of joy in the age to come. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

The Christian, by William Cowper

Honor and happiness unite
To make the Christian's name a praise;
How fair the scene, how clear the light,
That fills the remnant of His days!

A kingly character He bears,
No change His priestly office knows;
Unfading is the crown He wears,
His joys can never reach a close.

Adorn'd with glory from on high,
Salvation shines upon His face;
His robe is of the ethereal dye,
His steps are dignity and grace.

Inferior honors He disdains,
Nor stoops to take applause from earth;
The King of kings Himself maintains
The expenses of His heavenly birth.

The noblest creature seen below,
Ordain'd to fill a throne above;
God gives him all He can bestow,
His kingdom of eternal love!

My soul is ravished at the thought!
Methinks from earth I see Him rise!
Angels congratulate His lot,
And shout Him welcome to the skies.

You Can’t Measure Volume with a 30 cm Ruler

I fear so often I have taken a simplistic view of life and ministry in my past. Having gone through some major adjustments these past 2 years, moved continents and countered movements, seen some major flaws in me and others, wrestled with the basics of my identity again…

And I am now happy to report that volume cannot be measured in one dimension.

What I mean is that life is complex. I come from an era of rational thought, where Modern Man convinced himself that he could conquer all by rational deduction, thorough investigation and clever invention.

Life has too much “je ne sais quoi”; too many twists and turns; too much angst and exuberance.

Life has too many questions for their to be too many solutions.

But still, even from our pulpits we can practice our 30cm reductionism. Follow these three steps. Just evangelize. Do God’s work and He will work things out for you. Just say yes. Sing! Pray! Give!

For me personally, the rapid changes in the past year have been massive. Unutterable, unfathomable at times. It has become clear to me that teaching and points of strategy can sometimes be more like vinegar to the teeth. Not completely unlike Job’s grate friends Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. I have too often been that kind of friend to myself, instead of finding the Friend that sticks closer than a brother. 

Job’s friends have all the answers for this cause and effect world. Like the man who wrote a book on parenting, but had no kids himself. They have answers, but they have not love. Oh dear, how often I have had that condition. Loveless answers. Quick responses. The recipes for Christian success.

But…

Why did Joseph go to jail?
Why did Saul hurl javelins at David?
Why was Jeremiah cast into a cistern?
Why was Stephen stoned to death?
Why was Paul covered in scars?
Why was Jesus hanged on a tree?

The answers to these questions, and truly the answers to our anxieties and unfathomable pathos at times, is not found in more knowledge, more Christian strategy, more behavior-changing efforts.

It is found in Christ.

It is found in this mysterious romance; this cosmic dark matter of the hidden things of God.
But out of the immensity of what He has not shown, He speaks and invites us deeper in.
This journey of the heart; this pathway to the Unknown, is not of this world. It contains within it mortal fleshly offence, and whispered requests nonsensical to the rational man.

“Give away all you have?”.
“Suffer for a while”
“Do not fear what they fear”
“Trust me”
“I am working deep within you”
“Leave your nation and go to a place I will show you”
“Let the dead bury their dead”
“As sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things”.

So, what is my conclusion? Simply this – the only way to build others up is by faith in Jesus, by preaching the Word as living and lively from Jesus, as a walk of deep relationship, not functional partnership.

We have erred by believing we can name and teach and explore our way into our future. “You cannot think your way into the future; you can only believe”. ONLY BELIEVE. Trust implies many unknowns.

Let me make this even plainer. You don’t get people to be generous, by teaching on generosity. You don’t get people happy by teaching on laughter. You don’t raise up a church by preaching on the church. You don’t get people eternity minded by preaching on deathly things. You don’t bring a man to justification by helping him justify himself. You don’t often help a man in distress by trying to find practical answers for his distress.

You show him Jesus. You show people the love of God. You find grace and peace in your own walk, before trying to help others find it. You walk humbly and don’t spend your whole life trying to hide your weaknesses, as though that qualifies you to help the weak. The weak help the weak, because in our weakness we are strong. The humble are exalted and the barren women sing for joy. The poor are rich and the rich are poor.

We all know when we have been kissed by Jesus through a friend’s ministry, or when we have been measured with that 30cm ruler, and then squared away. Like the suicidal lemming hanging by its neck from a branch – and 2 lemming friends, as they are jumping off the cliff, saying “poor old Fred, I thought he looked depressed lately”.

Many claim their stake in love,
Hearts weighed down still weighing up.
Can morbid men make me to move?
Can I be filled from those fed-up?
Love is the system’s centre
That flows incessant through deepspace;
Love is the rhyme and canter
That measures out the human race.
Love gives my heart its beating,
Love keeps the galaxies afloat -
Such is mankind’s central heating,
This atmospheric overcoat.
The One Who watches sees us;
The Source of Love, my Jesus

Bless you, bless you

Nick